The 10 Lies We Tell Ourselves

1. My past will always haunt me.

Correction- you’re past can haunt you if you let it.

2. Success is the opposite of failure. 

There are no failures, just results.  Even if things don’t unfold the way you expected, don’t give up.  Learn what you can and keep moving.  

3. If only I had (fill in blank), I would be happy.

There are two ways of being rich in happiness: One is to have all you want, the other is to be satisfied with all you have.  I’ll give you a hint: both ways are the same. If you accept and appreciate things now, you’ll find more happiness. Happiness comes when you stop complaining about the troubles you have and start offering thanks for all the troubles you don’t have. 

4. A crisis is a bad thing.

Life always balances itself out. Every challenge, problem, and difficulty that arises is simply another opportunity for you to learn and grow.

5. I’m too old for that. 

You are never too old to go after what you want. There are countless other examples. Everyone is on their own timeline. And you are never too old or too young to fulfill your calling.

6. That person (fill in the blank) has it so much easier than me.

So many people believe this. But it’s simply not true. The truth is, you have no idea what that person’s life is about! Everyone is exploring and struggling in their own way. Nobody was handed a manual or an instruction guide for life – everyone is trying to figure it out just the same way you are. 

7. It is better to give than to receive.

It’s a nice thought and useful if you’re a particularly self-centered individual but I don’t think it’s true. Maybe we can replace that lie with, “It’s better to give AND receive.” Because neither is “better” than the other. They are in balance. It’s simple math, for every giver there must be a receiver. 

8. I can do it tomorrow.

Maybe one of the most frequent lies we tell ourselves. But we all know it’s not true! The trouble is, you always think you have more time than you do.  But one day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to work on the things you’ve always wanted to do. No one knows what the future holds and what good does it do to live in the “one of these days” mindset? The life you have is today and the time to live it is now. 

9. Happiness is the foundation of my well-being.

We tell ourselves over and over again, “I need to be happy.” We question ourselves, “Why aren’t you happy?!”  But the truth is, emotions are emotions are emotions. Sad, angry, lonely, scared, they are not bad things! Instead of telling ourselves we need to stay happy, we ought to be letting ourselves feel however we do at any given moment. 

10. It’s wrong to be self-centered.

Sometimes being selfish is healthy. We could all learn to say, “no” every now and then. And stop apologizing all the time. It’s your life! Your emotions! Your choices! So choose what’s best for you. And stop caring what other people think about your decisions. If/when it comes down to choosing between someone else or something else and yourself, always choose yourself.

Creating Positive Habits for a Happier Life

I always wanted people to understand me and never tell me anything negative because I knew that it affected me a lot. But that never happened. It wasn’t until much later that I discovered the simple truth;

No one else has power over my emotions, thoughts and actions.

You are completely responsible for your life and the way you feel at any given time. And sometimes, in negative situations, staying positive requires a lot of effort. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can develop specific habits that would help you propel positivity out of yourself and unto the people around you. And the good thing is that they’re simple. Here are 3 habits that will give you an aura of positivity, anywhere you find yourself and help you live a happier life:

1. Give a Friend a Compliment to Boost Self Image

A lady who knows she wears nice clothes wants to be told how nice she looks, especially when she may not feel so confident in her dressing. The same goes for guys. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I began to realize the power behind compliments.

It’s easy to spot a person who doesn’t feel too confident in what he or she is wearing. All you need to do is look for someone who keeps adjusting a part of their outfit. Your job at this point is to walk up to that person and make a simple compliment like, “I love what you’re wearing” or you could be specific about a particular part of the outfit.

What this does is it increases the self confidence of that person. And most times, if the compliment is returned, you also start to feel more positive about yourself.

2. Control Your Reactions to Promote Peace

Negative situations sometimes cause us to unconsciously react in negative ways. But it is also possible to always react positively to any situation, no matter how bad it may seem. Anger used to be my second nature and it often caused a lot of havoc. But the moment I learned to control it, my relationships got stronger.

The secret to controlling your reactions is not by intentional physical effort but by either conditioning your response or delaying your reaction. When you’re offended, try counting one to ten before giving a response. This method of delay always works.

You can also train yourself to always do this whenever such situations occur. One method I use, especially when I’m deliberately insulted, is to stare into space like a zombie and then smile at the end of it all. I had to continuously condition myself to react this way until it became involuntary. This only makes relationships stronger and allows peace to reign.

 3. Relax After Disappointments to Reduce Tension

Have you ever picked up the phone before, only to respond harshly the person on the receiving end for no just cause? The reason for this could be because you had a bad day or you were just offended or disappointed at something. Negativity has a way of getting transferred into other aspects of our daily lives. But you could make up your mind to transfer positivity instead.

If you had a bad day at work, don’t go home and take it out on your family. Instead, every time you feel tensed up, always take a moment to relax and clear your thoughts. It could be a few seconds or minutes, depending on where you are (just don’t do this when you’re in a meeting with your boss).

Relaxation helps you to loosen up your muscles and get rid of any negative emotion that may have previously overpowered you. It also ensures that the next thing or person you encounter only sees the positive side of you.

It’s not enough for just you to think positively about your life. You also have to help others do the same, in the best way you can. Relationships are important and our positive reactions in negative situations add more strength. If we must make a change and transform this world into a place of positivity, you have to make the first move because it all begins with YOU.